Today is Wednesday August 28, 2013
HIGHLIGHTS: Here are some REAL excuses people have used to get out of work. My sister got kidnapped and I have to find her . . . there's a snake on the porch so I can't leave the house . . . Martians kidnapped my boyfriend so I have to save him . . . and a woman who called and reported prostate issues.
HIGHLIGHTS: According to a new survey, the average person doesn't hit MIDDLE AGE until they're 53. The top signs you're middle aged are: You lose touch with technology . . . you have no idea what "young people" are talking about . . . you constantly have new aches and pains . . . and you need an afternoon nap.
HIGHLIGHTS: On Sunday, Burger King's introducing a new burger that uses FRENCH FRIES as a topping. It's called the French Fry Burger, and it'll sell for a dollar. But they're only putting FOUR French fries on top, so it's not like you're getting an entire side of fries. And it'll only be available this fall.
HIGHLIGHTS: BILLY RAY CYRUS finally addressed MILEY'S "VMA" performance yesterday. He told "Entertainment Tonight", quote, "Of course I'll always be here for Miley. Can't wait [to] see her when she gets home. She's still my little girl and I'm still her dad regardless how this circus we call show business plays out. I love her unconditionally and that will never change."
HIGHLIGHTS: The "National Enquirer" claims TIM MCGRAW and FAITH HILL are going through a $135 million divorce. So-called "sources" are saying Tim is, quote, "threatening to walk", and that Faith is jealous of the sexual chemistry he has with TAYLOR SWIFT. Tim's rep claims the whole thing is, quote "totally false and ridiculous", and Faith's people won't even dignify it.
Have a great day!